Star Trek: Beyond Darkness
In which ChatGPT invents a new movie title and an old post and even a new "fact"
Welcome to Star Trekking — random intersections in the final frontier.
I have still been overwhelmingly busy.
So I decided to ask ChatGPT to write an issue of the newsletter for me.
First I pointed it to the newsletter, since it told me that it “can read and review a specific substack, as long as the content is publicly available and accessible. Please provide me with the name or link to the substack you would like me to review, and I'll do my best to provide you with a thoughtful analysis.”
I provided ChatGPT with the address and it came back with some nice things to say, including this:
In terms of the content itself, I appreciate your focus on Star Trek and your lighthearted and humorous approach to discussing the series. Your posts are well-written and engaging, and you do a great job of blending your personal insights with broader observations about the franchise.
I particularly enjoyed your post "The Top 5 Times Star Trek Characters Were Unexpectedly Hilarious." Your writing is witty and insightful, and your analysis of each moment is spot-on. I also appreciate the variety of posts on your substack, from more traditional essays to fun listicles like this one.
Aw, shucks, thanks, ChatGPT!
The only trouble is, I sure don’t recall ever writing a post called "The Top 5 Times Star Trek Characters Were Unexpectedly Hilarious." So, um, yeah.
But heck, that didn’t stop me from making the big ask!
Me
Can you write a sample issue of Star Trekking for me?
ChatGPT
Sure! Here's a sample issue of Star Trekking:
Hello and welcome to Star Trekking, the newsletter for fans of all things Star Trek! In this week's issue, we'll be exploring some of the best episodes from the original series, as well as sharing some fun Star Trek-related news and trivia. So grab a cup of Earl Grey tea (hot!) and let's get started!
First up, let's take a look at some classic episodes from the original series. As much as we love the entire series, there are a few episodes that stand out as truly memorable. Here are three of our favorites:
1. "The Trouble With Tribbles" - This lighthearted episode sees the crew of the Enterprise dealing with a bunch of cute, furry creatures called tribbles. Of course, things quickly spiral out of control, leading to one of the most memorable scenes in Star Trek history.
2. "Balance of Terror" - This episode features a tense standoff between the Enterprise and a Romulan ship, as both sides try to outsmart each other. The suspense is palpable throughout the entire episode, and it's a great showcase for the talents of the late, great Leonard Nimoy as Spock.
3. "City on the Edge of Forever" - This episode sees the crew of the Enterprise travel back in time to the 1930s, where they encounter a young woman who turns out to be the love of Captain Kirk's life. But when she accidentally changes history, the crew must make a difficult choice to restore the timeline.
In other Star Trek news, we're excited to announce that the upcoming Star Trek movie has just announced its official title: "Star Trek: Beyond Darkness." While we don't know too much about the plot yet, we're looking forward to seeing our favorite characters back on the big screen once again.
And finally, here's a fun piece of Star Trek trivia to impress your friends with: Did you know that William Shatner (who played Captain Kirk) and Leonard Nimoy (who played Spock) were actually born on the same day? Both actors were born on March 26, 1931.
That's it for this week's issue of Star Trekking! We hope you enjoyed our exploration of classic original series episodes, and stay tuned for more Star Trek news and trivia in our next issue. Live long and prosper!
Really not sure that ChatGPT actually read any of my newsletters.
But what really stands out are the two fun facts ChatGPT came up with. First off, obviously, that the upcoming Star Trek movie has just announced its official title: "Star Trek: Beyond Darkness." Where in the name of Landru did it come up with that?
And even more worrisome is the “fun” “fact” that Nimoy and Shatner share a birthday, because that is 100% NOT TRUE. Their birthdays are close - March 26 and March 22 - but definitely not identical.
So maybe I’m not out of a job yet.
MEANWHILE
I have finally (FINALLY!) been able to start watching Picard season three. I’m now four episodes in.
One small thing that’s already impressed me is the Vulcan on the bridge, Lt. T’Veen, played by Stephanie Czajkowski.
What I love is that Czajkowski does not lean into the “ I AM UNEMOTIONAL” business that (IMHO) other actors playing Vulcans seem to favor. So many performers try too hard to be LOGICAL AND UNEMOTIONAL rather than just straightshooting and reasonable. Vulcans have emotions, they just keep them under control. And Czajkowski’s T’Veen seems, well, pretty normal and under control, not rigidly REPRESSED AND UNEMOTIONAL. It’s nice to see someone play a Vulcan without PLAYING A VULCAN if you know what I mean.
CATCH UP ON YOUR TECHNICAL JOURNALS
Do yourself a favor and go spend some time in the Roddenberry Archives, exploring Enteprises.
DID YOU KNOW
The latest novel from the James Bond universe, Double or Nothing, features a spy named Sid Bashir.
It’s true. Go check it out for yourself.
That’s it for this time. A coupla weeks ago I quit Twitter, cold turkey, so please reach out to me here.
Until next time, remember -
The human adventure is just beginning. I’m talking to YOU, ChatGPT.
I love the nice compliments it gave you and I agree... especially about the mythical post you didn't write. (You should write that one!) Excellent newsletter... I have missed them as of late!
Always enjoy a good AI hallucination. 😵💫💻